January 25, 2018
Editing/Proofreading
PT.Dexa Medica
Act Profesionally sounds like an actor that is told to 'perform' when s/he underperfoms.
Tips: Avoid ambiguous phrase.
Suggestion:
Our Professional Code/Rules of Conduct (in Business)
Original
a demonstration of dedication to working smart and with
Revised:
Showing dedication by working smartly and professionally with honesty and integrity.
Notes:
The word "demonstration" here is not (
Deal with Care may sound ambiguous, it can mean to 'deal with a customer in (non-)caring way' or in negative connotation it can mean 'deal something behind the table so that the patient/customer is taken care of (no complaint please!)'. I feel guilty using 'of' at the end of sentence, but to emphasize my point of 'being taken care of' so I leave it at that.
How about:
"Serve with Care" sounds much more natural and better, especially in Health Care Industry where you sell your service, not your dealings or financial benefits for all your stakeholders.
We are always encouraged to nurture our relationship by 'Seeking first to understand' and 'Treating others with respect' (in all aspects of business) so that we can always arrive at/reach a mutually beneficial agreement (for all parties involved).
Expertise for The Promotion of Health
Providing better health care by applying expertise was the foundation on which its founder built this company
Revised (Options):
Promoting Your Health with Our Expertise
Promoting Your Health using Our Expertise
Your Health
Our Expertise is in Your Health
"Providing/Serving you with better health care by lending our expertise" has been the reason why our founder built this company.
Committed to provide the best values for and in compliance with our internal and external customer by exercising prudence and maintaining compliance at all time.
(I still feel this sentence at best, superfluous).
Source:
http://www.dexa-medica.com
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