13 December 2018

#Daily Reads

1.doens't => doesn't
2.(combination of) ...and...
from a wound here is starting with preposition which is awkward.
They produce offspring by means of their blood combination, pure blood, wound(s), a special and natural place that can be found in this world,....where the new life would gestate in a cocoon-like structure.

must be found means that you definitely need the special natural place to have an offspring unless stated otherwise. (well if that is what you mean then okay). I find that the phrase: must be found is  very strong phrase that may limit your writing.
However, if you say:
can be found means that there is a resource in that special natural place or a special/natural place where you can have offspring. So it's not limited to one special/natural place.
[Okay this must be found/can be found is up to you since you are the one who writes the story]

3. althought => although
4. process. This should be ended with full stop instead of comma.
.... reproduction process. I didn't want....
5. These comma (,) + and positions are awkward. This also makes the sentence feels fractured because:
"I didn't want to make one gender to be at a disadvantage because of reproduction.... and also to make the process easier??

We are still talking about WHY you didn't want one gender to be at a disadvantage... and SUDDENLY you are talking about MAKING THE PROCESS easier ?? What process?

To avoid this kind of fractured sentence, you can rewrite into:

I didn't want to make one gender to be at a disadvantage because of reproduction process. I also wanted to make the reproduction process easier, at least physically.

OR

I wanted to make the reproduction process at least physically easier, especially when talking about how I didn't want to make one gender to be at a disadvantage because of it.

Note: You can't combine these two "reproduction process" into one single sentence with "and", without specifically mention 'reproduction process' because the clause position is different.
Your clause will have to be in the same position to make these more streamlined (i.e.: referring main clause to main clause with correct structure).

Source: https://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/questions/132565/can-a-genderless-race-have-sex


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Thoughs -> Thoughts

Source:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chukMdRUt24

at min.3:17.